Ring around the random
by Lalaith Papillon
Summary: The ring is back and a bunch of random people are sent to destroy it.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer:

Today it was finally the last day of school, hallelujah. "My house, one hour, and you better not be late!" Yelled Sara, my best friend, and the only person in school who didn't think I was a complete freak. I keep my hair really short, I don't believe in God, and I actually have intelligence and free will. As I hopped on my bike I started to hum Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" because I knew I would be riding past the church half a block down the street which is hopefully violating some law that I'm to lazy to look up.

"I got so brave drinking ale, it's not what I'm used to, I kissed a girl and I liked it," I sang. These people always seem to be praying, and they normally come out to yell at me. I like pushing people's buttons, it's rather amusing.

As I turned the corner with the pizza place on it (I haven't bothered to learn the name of things around here because I plan on getting out of here and I don't want being connected to this horrible place to slow me down). I saw the glint of gold in the gutter to find a little gold ring.

I picked it up and put in my pocket. It felt funny like it was something from a dream; I decided to tell Sara about it later and not to worry about it for now.

XxX

Azaria stared at the bills pilled sky high on the table and sighed, in the crappy apartment she shared with her fourteen year old daughter who's good for nothing father had walked out after he met her, and fell for a Sally Sue or whatever her name was. So here she sat, one of the three remaining elves. As far as she knew the only three in this world were herself, Legolas, and Arwen, but no one talked of them. In fact she had only heard one sentence about then from her mother right before she had sailed.

Then there was her daughter the half elf whose father had walked out because of that Sally person. Jordan walked into the apartment after the last day of school.

"Hey mamma, I'm going over to Marco's party this evening,"

"First, can I talk you out of the going to the party, and if I just say you can't go then will I catch you sneaking out of your bedroom window?" Jordan knew I was joking but that she would mean getting the talk again on the way to the party. I've given her that talk over a million times.

"Aw mamma you now I would never do that to you," she said wail giving the most amazing smile on the planet. She really is a pretty thing, tall, thin, her father's dark skin, and my black hair in hundreds of beaded breads.

"I now, sweetie I'm just being a good lil'mamma," she started laughing because she thinks it's hilarious when I try to talk cool in my British accent.

Then her phone starts singing "_Pokerface"_**. "Hello, yeah she's right next to me," I really wanted to know who was on the other end of the phone**

**"Mom it's for you," Jordan said wail handing me the phone.**

"**Hello?" it was more of a question then a greeting.**

"**Hello is this Azaria Catherin Sanchez?" the voice was male and like velvet a little like what I thought Edward Cullen's would sound like.**

**"Be at 3256 N. Vine Street, Hazelton PA tomorrow morning,"**

"**What, why, who is this?"**

"**Legolas and I believe that someone told you to listen to me."**

**"But, I have work and a daughter,"**

"**Wasn't today the last day of school?"**

"**Well yes, but I have teacher conferences,"**

"**You will be there." Then Legolas hung up on Azaria.**

**"Jordan!"**

**xXx**

**This was going to be so much fun, Diana was finally going to the United Sates of America and she got to go to the stupidest most random town. That town was Hazleton. Heard of it? I didn't think so. She wanted to go to Wall Street to work with Australian Treasury Bounds, but she was going to this small little town to work with chickens.**

**xXx**

"**You are like so kidding us!" **

"**Angela, Hannah baby it's okay think about how many people you could inspire, said their sentimental loser of an agent.**

"**Inspire, Inspire! We want to make money and party there isn't any clubs in this town and please find me one person driving **an Austin Martin."

"Fine, don't show up to an already booked show,"

"You now what we'll go but this is the last show we'll do with you Johnny," said Angela as she and Hannah hoped into Hannah's red BMW m6.

xxx

Ding, Ding, _Dingdingdingding,_** Ding ding "Sophia it's a door bell not piano," Sara opened the door.**

"**What's for dinner?" **

"**Oh very polite Sophie" **

"**Yeah I know"**

**Well I hooked up the computer to some speakers and started blasting music and managed to get the cops called on us because Sara's neighbor is an old hag. Then we fell asleep wail watching **_**The Lord of the Rings Extended Edition. **_**All in all it was a rather boring night. **

**xXx **

"**Okay I need to go to this town In Pennsylvania, so don't go out unless you need to, don't let the freaks in and pleas don't go to that party to night," I asked Jordan.**

"**Fine I wont go to the party" wow she looked depressed, but I couldn't let her walk home from this party by herself. **

**xXx**

**Legolas, Arwen, and Gandalf were stacked out in Sara's back yard.**

"**Is she coming?"**

"**There is a fifty-fifty chance,"**

"**What is that supposed to mean, Legolas?"**

"**She might come, she might not."**

"**You are such a bad people person you know that?"**

"**People have told me."**

"**Shut up you two," that would be Mithrandir.**

"**Did they get the cops called on them?"**

"**Give me the binoculars!"**

**xXx**

"**We love ya'll good night!" screamed Hannah wail she and Angela ran of the stage. As soon as they got off the stag their smiles fell and turned into frowns and they started yelling. **

"**That was worse than the show where no one came!"**

"**That sucked, do you hear me?"**

"**Girls, girls pleas they loved you," their agent tried to cam the girls down.**

"**Whatever, where can we party?"**

"**Umm, 3256 N. Vine Street."**

"**It better be a good party," the agent hopped it would be, he had just gotten the address from G dog that morning.**

"**They're waiting for you."**

**xXx**

**Diana stood outside of 3256 N. Vine Street, it didn't look much like anywhere a sane person would hold a business conference even about chicken.**

**She decided that she might as well knock on the door and ask for directions. Suddenly three people walked around from the back, a tall women who looked like she could be a model with long black hair that I was jealous of, a man who was absolutely the single most beautiful man I have ever seen with long bond hair which some how made him look very masculine but not feminine at all , and a old man dressed in robes and the strangest hat I have seen in a long time.**

"**Hello?"**

"**Hello I am Arwen, are you Azaria or Diana?"**

"**My name Diana, how did you know that?" **

"**We will explain after were inside," said the lady who she was named Arwen for some odd reason I trusted them.**

**The blond rang the door bell. The door was opened by a teenager with short curly hair and glasses and in the kitchen stood a short girl with super short brown hair.**

**XxX Sophie**

**When they knocked on the door I was singing Hanna & Angela to annoy Sara. She opened the door and there stood the four oddest assortment of people I have ever seen. A beautiful woman, a man who looked a little like Dumbledore, an African American woman in a pinstripe business suit, and holy cow, a guy that was just plan gorgeous. **

"**Who are you people?" **

"**I am Arwen Evenstar, and my companions are Gandalf the White, Legolas Greenleaf, and Diana," We stared at her for what seemed like ages then Sara asked "If your elves why don't you call him Mithrandir?"**

"**I thought you would know him better as Gandalf,"**

**Then there was a loud knock at the door, I opened it up and found a tall, thin, black haired women.**

"**Um, hi," she said, "is Legolas or Arwen here?"**

"**Oh yeah there're in here. Why, are you with them?"**

"**I was called in yesterday and told to come here whether I liked it or not," I liked this woman, I didn't now why but she seemed tough.**

"**Legolas, is she with you people?"**

**Legolas completely engorging me asked her "Are you Azaria?"**

"**Yeah, are you Legolas?"**

"**Yes."**

**Then we heard yet another knock at the door. I opened it up to find yet two more people, and they just so happened to be Hanna and Angela the pop stars.**

"**Dude, this isn't a club," said the blond with blue eyes was Hanna.**

"**Can we party here?" said the blond with brown eyes she was Angela.**

"**No this isn't a club and it's not a place to party, but if Legolas or Arwen told you to come in you can come in," they stared at me like I was a moron.**

"**Oh, I invited them" Gandalf said out of nowhere.**

"**G dog what is going on?" I never expected to here Gandalf be called G dog by anyone.**

**He didn't look happy about it either. "Not much."**

"**They call you G dog?" Sara asked wailing and laughing hysterically, and of course that made me start laughing and so did everybody except Hanna, Angela, and Gandalf who all glared daggers at us.**

"**So why are we here?" asked the woman named Azaria, "I'm supposed to be at a conference."**

**Gandalf A.K.A G dog answered, "We are here because, Sophie found a ring yesterday we believe this may be the ring."**

"**But that's impossible," Sara said.**

"**That's what we thought to, but may I see the ring?"**

"**Sure," I said handing him small gold ring I found yesterday. He turned the stove on and tossed the ring into it. About a minute latter he pulled the ring out, and several words had lit up they were in a langue I couldn't read. **

**A/N sorry for the font changes.**


	2. Chapter 2

Gandalf started reading, "One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them and in the darkness bind them," we were all completely silent for about thirty seconds and then we exploded.

"Holy Crap!"

"OH MY GOD!"

"There is no way!"

"This is awesome!"

This went on for about a minute when we ran out of things to say.

"So, who wants to take it?" asked Dianna.

"Sophia will." Gandalf said this like it was a fact.

"What?" we all asked at the same time.

"She found it like Frodo, so she will carry it." (I think Gandalf has gone nuts!)

"Are you crazy? She's a teenage girl!" Azaria yelled. I didn't really like it ,but I could see where she was coming from. I bet she's a mother.

"Frodo was a hobbit."

"He was an adult!"

"I can do it, I can take the ring, but I have no idea where I'm going, though." I really hoped I was making the right decision, because either way I was stuck carrying an evil ring.

"Well, I don't know where we're going either, and I'm not sure if I like the fact you're taking it, but I'm in," said Azaria.

"Hey, I all ready called being the first to call going on an awesome adventure to destroy a ring!" Is it sad that Sara actually called that?

"I'm guessing there isn't actually a business meeting about chickens happening now?" asked Dianna.

"No," we all said at once.

"Okay, well them I'm in."

"As am I," Arwen said.

"I suppose I have to too," said Legolas.

"G-dog, are you coming?"

"Of coarse I'm going Hanna."

"Then we are to," said Angela. Just as her sister said, "Duh we are!" This would be a long trip.

"Are we all in?" This question was answered by a chorus of yeses, yeahs, and one yep.

Suddenly my stupid phone started ringing and pulled me back to earth, "Hello, who is it?"

"It's your little sister. Mom wants to know when you and Sara are leaving for swim camp tomorrow," Crap! I forgot about that swim thing we had. I would have to tell my mom something.

"Actually I got it wrong and we're leaving today, like now," I made up.

"Sophie, what are you doing?" Sara whispered.

"I'm making up a good excuse for leaving, Sara," I said. "Lila sissy darling," she cut me off there.

"What do you want so badly?"

"Could you tell mom we need to go RIGHT NOW because I got the date wrong, and that I need to go like RIGHT NOW," I said.

"Okay, whatever, I'll tell her," said my bored sister.

"Okay I got to go, love you," I said.

"Mmm, yeah, you too," she repeated and hung up.

Sara repeated this same excuse to her mother.

"Okay, are we ready to go now?" asked Arwen as she shepherded us out the door to find nothing less than a stretch limo.

"Wow," Azaria's eyes suddenly got really wide, "How?"

"When you've been alive for a couple thousand years you have time to build up a nice little nest egg," Arwen gave a little smile as she answered.

"No kidding." Azaria looked like she was going to go into shock

"So. Where are we going?" asked Sara.

"Gandalf, do you know how to get to the airport?" Arwen asked.

"I got directions there off of Mapquest this morning Arwen, thank -you- very-much."

"You actually know what Mapquest _is _Mithrandir?" Legolas called from the veeeerrrry, very, very, waaaaaaay, way back of the looooong limo.

"Legolas darling, why don't you come and sit up here with the rest of us?" Arwen suggested.

Legolas walked about 9 feet and plopped down next to Azaria.

xXx Legolas

"Do you miss her?" I asked.

"Who?" She asked this as if she thought I was talking about her cat.

"I'm speaking of your daughter, of course."

"Of course I miss her, but she can take care of herself," she said rather defiantly.

"So, where are we going?"

"Paris, France." Paris was one of my favorite human cities.

"I've always wanted to go to Paris!" I couldn't believe she _never_ went to Paris.

"Have you ever been to Europe?"

"No, my great grand-parents squandered the family fortune _way_ before me ,and my parents weren't really the pull yourself up by your boot straps type of people."

"What do you do?" She was actually more interesting than I thought she would be.

"I try to teach reluctant teenagers with the intelligence of five year olds how to read Shakespeare."

"Do you ever think you're fighting a losing battle?"

At this she gave a fake sounding laugh and said, "Oh darling I _know_ I'm fighting a losing battle."

"What do they mean to you?"

"What did the people at Helm's Deep mean to you? Now excuse me, I need to call my daughter." I suppose that could have offended her.


End file.
